My friend asked me to buy a baby for N500,000 — Woman who had a child after 13 years

A businesswoman , Mrs. Bukola Aliyu, who waited for
13 years before having a child , shares her story with
MOTUNRAYO JOEL
What is your daughter’s name ?
Raihana Ayomide Aliyu; she was born on February
28, 2017.
When did you get married ?
I got married on February 6, 2003.
You bore a child after 13 years of marriage . How
did you remain strong through the years?
It wasn ’ t an easy period but I had faith that one day ,
God would answer me . I tried to keep myself busy
with counselling – I counselled people on various
issues . I also tried to go out frequently ; I realised
that whenever I stayed at home, I felt more saddened
about my issue . It was a trying period; there were
times people would not want me to hold their
children . I was constantly abused and tormented
with hurtful words.
What efforts did you make in trying to conceive ?
I went to several hospitals and places in search of an
answer to my need. I underwent several rounds of In
Vitro Fertisation – seven in total.
You mean none of the seven IVF procedures
worked ?
Yes, I also did four intrauterine insemination
procedures. I also consulted the so- called helpers – the
good and fake ones . My husband and I spent a lot of
money within the period of 13 years . Each IVF
procedure cost us about N1.5m ; you can imagine
how much we spent on IVF alone. Despite the failed
procedures, I didn ’ t give up , I kept searching. Each
time we tried a process and it didn ’ t work , I would
almost give up but my husband kept encouraging
me . He was so supportive, if not for him , I would
have given up .
How did you feel whenever you saw other women
with their babies ?
I would pray over their babies with the hope that I
would become a mother someday . I tried as much as
possible to remain confident of the fact ’ that someday
I would hold my own baby. At some point though ,
one of my friends brought a pregnant , adolescent girl
to my house . She advised me to adopt the baby when
the girl put to bed – she was seven months pregnant .
She said the girl was willing to sell her baby for
N500, 000 . I turned down their offer and told them
never to enter my house again. The young girl was
so willing to sell her baby; she was excited . I felt
angered by their offer; I kept asking myself if they
thought I would never be able to give birth to a
child.
Didn ’t you feel bothered by your age ?
Yes I did, I was approaching 40 and the thought of
not being able to conceive at 40 was loud and clear in
my head. It was at that point I gave up .
What do you mean ?
It was around June /July last year ; I got to a point
where I gave up . I lost all hope of becoming a
mother . I was fed up searching and trying to
conceive by all means. My husband and I kept
pushing hard – spending money , only to meet a
brick wall . One night , I cried and cried and said all
sorts to God. I challenged God; I said I was tired of
trying to become a mother . I practically lost hope ; I
stopped praying . I knew I was approaching 40 and I
told God that he if didn’ t give me a child before I
turned 40, He better not bother again. I was
frustrated . To my surprise, that period, I conceived .
How did you learn you were pregnant?
I didn’ t know I was pregnant until I was about three
months into my nine -month journey . I realised I had
missed my menstrual period. Even when that
happened, I still doubted that I was pregnant because
I hadn ’ t begun to experience morning sickness . I
went for pregnancy test but refused to collect the
result . I didn ’ t want to hear ‘ you are not pregnant ’
again. The night I was rushed to a hospital was when
the doctor confirmed to me that I was pregnant . I
didn ’ t believe him ; I kept telling him I had malaria.
How did your husband react when he learnt you
were pregnant?
I was on bed rest ; I was too tired to observe his
reaction . But I’ m sure he was excited.
How did you feel being pregnant?
I was so excited ; in fact words fail me to express
myself . I was so anxious to see my growing tummy . I
kept analysing my tummy . My neighbours too were
excited . I didn ’ t let people observe my growing
tummy until I was seven months pregnant . The day
my neighbours saw me taking a walk , they gathered
around me ; there was a huge crowd , I felt so
embarrassed. That was the last time they saw me
take a walk . I preferred to take walks at night .
Were you concerned about the sex of your baby?
No, I made sure I didn ’ t check the sex of my baby.
All I did was to buy unisex clothes. I wasn ’ t bothered
if I was pregnant with a boy or girl. I had waited 13
years to have a child; the sex of my baby was not a
priority to me .
How was your pregnancy journey ?
After the day I was admitted in the hospital, I began
to experience severe morning sickness but I was glad
to experience it .
How did you feel when you held your baby in your
arms for the first time ?
Immediately after my operation, ( I had a caesarean
section ) I told the doctor I wanted to hold my baby in
my arms . I held her with the umbilical cord dangling
and blood all over her body . The doctors and nurses
were surprised at my action – they didn’ t know I had
waited for 13 years to experience that scene. Even
when they took her from me to bathe her , I felt they
took a long time . I just kept staring into her eyes ; I
cried from 10am to 6pm. My mother bought N4 , 000
worth of airtime to call people; she was overjoyed.
How many children do you hope to have ?
I want to have as many as possible. If God decides to
give me seven children , I ’ ll be happy .
What is your advice to other women who are
hoping children ?
They should be careful of fake doctors ; many of
them are out to exploit women . While I was running
to different places in search of a solution to my need,
I met people who told me to do all sorts. One told me
to dry my faeces and take it with pap . I’ m glad I
didn ’ t listen to any of them . Patience is an important
virtue in the journey of waiting to have children ;
women who are hoping to bear children should have
patience . They should live a happy life.
Who does your baby resemble between you and
your husband?
She looks like her father; he is so happy about that .
He helps me in taking care of her ; he changes her
diapers .